Sunday, July 12, 2009

Real Man Food: Part 1

[If you think a "real man" eats this, you're a "real idiot."]

Sorry, I had to disappear for a while. I caught a stomach parasite two weeks ago and have been slowly trying to regain my strength. All is well now, but for about a week, my toilet and I became close friends.

Anyway, on to the point of this post. I am constantly being ridiculed at work for how healthy I eat. Does it hurt my feeling? Not at all. In fact, I take it as a compliment and take pride in my healthy food selections. However, being out sick for a week added fuel to the fire for all the "health experts" at my station. Apparently, I got the parasite from "all that healthy shit you eat..." and the well educated remedy was that I need to start eating "real food," I'm sorry I mean "real MAN food." Well if "real MAN food" is three square meals a day of fried pork chops, green beans with bacon, butter w/ a side of mashed potatoes, washed down w/ Kool-Aid w/ extra sugar added ( for the diabetics), and topped off a generous portion of Bluebell; you can call me Mary. I could really give a fuck.

I didn't have the heart to tell the peons that I had eaten off of my regular routine a few days before and that was likely the cause of my illness. My sister had ordered fajitas for my nephews B-day the weekend before. I felt that I was justified to cheat a little to celebrate the little dude's day. My stomach saw no justice in it a few days later.

In Part 2, I will show you what I consider to be real man food show you how I save money and my life buy shopping for this real man food.

1 comment:

  1. If you would have told them that being off your diet is what got you sick, you'd get more ribbing than you know.

    When I was a vegan, I used to get teased in public, but in private they all said they respected it and the will power to do it. I went on a dive trip with some of them, and it was an all "inclusive resort".

    Since I hadn't eaten meat for a couple of years at that point, my body couldn't handle it. However they (the resort) didn't know what vegetarian was. After the trip I got an even harder time about being a vegan.

    I'm looking forward to part 2. I also wonder if anyone else got sick from them food or if it was just you.

    I also agree, most people don't know what real food is, and the fact they're adding extra sugar to the kool-aid for the diabetics, means they don't understand even half of what they think they do.