EVERYONE ELSE IS INSANE, I'M TOTALLY MAKING SENSE

[I guess he found the "fat burning zone"]

(This is more of a rant than anything. So, there's no rhythm to it. Fuck it! That's what blogs are for)

You've been on and off the scale, worrying about your "BMI" , trying to eat a specific amount of calories, and doing 45min - 1hr of useless cardio on your stair stepper all your life ...How's that been working out for you?... Are you a number or are you somebody?

i guess i need to clarify that the cardio i am referring to is the steady state, 45-1hr low intensity, high impact crap many people think is the key to fat loss.

you want an effective weight loss routine? stop eating shit, lift heavy things a few times a week, sprint like f*#k'n race horse once in a while, and play every day. 

don't get me wrong, 45min - 1hr jogs and/or hikes are not only enjoyable, but are also good for overall health. however, they are just a small piece of a bigger puzzle.

too much of any one aspect will have negative results. strength trainig w/o adequate recovery will lead to injury and illness quicker than you can say "squat."

a lot of my old clients were "cardio-aholics" thinking that the reason the didn't lose that last 10-15lbs was due to the fact that they only did 30min on the recumbent bike instead of an hour.

they would bust their ass doing 30min on the treadmill ( fight the machines!) b/4 a session, then i would put them through the worst 15-30 min of their life, then they would come in on their days off and lightly jog for 30min-1hr complaining that they were sore and tired from our last session.

at this point they had stopped burning fat and started destroying muscle. then, they would get insanely hungry, go next door to the smoothie shop and order a jumbo PB smoothie, down it in about 5min, spike their insulin levels, increase their fat stores, and repeat the process all over again.

they would eventually come to me and ask why they haven't seemed to lose any fat. i told them that their diet sucked and they need to stop doing so much damn low intensity cardio, but they were not ready to hear the truth.

insanity- doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

same could be said for stupidity.

in regards to not being able to burn fat in less than 30 min, you can burn fat in less than 3min in my version of the "fat burning zone." a.k.a the kitchen.

you wanna burn fat? eat less and of the right types of foods.

plain and simple, you can't out run a bad diet.

here's an effective "fat burning" routine you can do in 4min

TABATA PROTOCOL:

*20sec of work / 10 sec of rest x 8 rounds

*kettlebell, dumbbell, or barbell front squats

* try to get as many reps as you can w/ perfect form w/in the 20sec.

* no sissy squats either. ass below parallel (ass to the ground even better)

* same goes for the weight..no sissy, that is.

* be aggressive and explosive.

* pretty soon you'll be begging for that 4th min to end.

* if not, you need to put down that pink 2.5 lb baby toy you call a weight and pick up some real tonnage.

Check out these links for more info on bullshit cardio and tabata protocol.

Real Man Food: Part 2

[Look at all that fake food. Makes me sick! I tell hya what!]

Travel back in time to about 480 B.C. to the pass of Thermopylae, you'll find a guy there cutting up a bunch of Persian , tap him on the shoulder, tell him he's not a "real man" because he doesn't eat "real man food," and see if you can make it back to your time machine with all your limbs attached to you.


Too unrealistic? Ok book a flight to Las Vegas, take a taxi ride to 4055 West Sunset, open the door to Xtreme Couture MMA, ask to speak to the 6 time MMA Champ president ( if you're lucky he might be eating a spinach salad.), tap him on the shoulder, tell him he's a pussy for eating "rabbit food", and pay your hospital bill after waking up in an ICU 3 days later recovering from a coma and reconstructive surgery on your now disfigured face.


Now that I've ruffled some feathers, I'd like to show you how I shop at the grocery store


First, let me clarify that I am NOT a professional nutritionist. I've spent a lot of time researching and applying different ways to eat healthy, and have come up with an system that works for me based on what I'm doing in the gym. What works for me may or may not work for you. However, I will say that you will notice drastic changes in the way you look and feel once you start incorporating more whole foods into you diet.


4 RULES I TRY TO FOLLOW WHEN GROCERY SHOPPING:

1. Know Your Grocery Store: If it is dirty, the produce looks like its about to expire, and you get a feeling the staff is unprofessional, find a better place. My wife and I drive out of our way to go to HEB because the Kroger's with in walking distance from our house looks like a flea market and the stench of expired produce slaps you in the face when you walk through the door. If the inside smell worse than the garbage can outside,...I don't need to tell you what to do.
2. Make A List Of Exactly What You Need Before You Go: Eating healthy doesn't have to be expensive. You'll save money by getting only what you need for the next week. It is OK to stock up on bulk things like nuts, grains, and other items that will keep for a while. For example, if you generally only eat one apple a day, don't buy ten. This will keep you from over eating and keep you from wasting money on spoiled food. I also feel that it is best to shop early on a Saturday or Sunday for the coming week so that you don't risk overstocking your tummy and fridge. As you can see in the picture above, my basket if full of fruits, berries, veggies, nuts, lean meats, organic eggs, and occasionally organic milk and Greek yogurt.
3. Do Your Best To Stay On The Perimeter: Generally, grocery stores have all their whole fresh foods on the perimeter. I guess they do this so you have to pass all the canned and processed shit on your way to the milk and eggs. Don't dabble in the center for too long or else you will leave with more than you intended to take. (i.e. That "spare tire" you thought you sent to the junk yard.)
4. Only Veer Off The Path For Whole Foods That Are Not On The Perimeter: This is where you will pick up things like walnut/flax seed/ e.v. olive oil, bulk nuts, seeds, grains (organic, raw and unsalted of course) goji berries, spring water, organic no salt added canned tuna (sometimes), Organic coffee (sometimes),organic nut milks and butters, vitamins, minerals, freeze dried greens, fish oil. You get the idea. I will occasionally buy Ezekiel sprouted grain cereal deping on my workouts. Again, don't be tempted to grab the Lucky Charms over the Ezekiel. If it is in a box or can and the ingrediet list is longer than the Bible, put it back. ( see "spare tire" comment above)

In Part 3, I'll give you how I generally eat from week to week and why. I would also like to give you an update on some changes I've made on my ETK paln. Drop a comment below and let me know what you think about this post, or if you want to add anything to my list. Look forward to hearing from you.

"When In Command, Take Charge."

Real Man Food: Part 1

[If you think a "real man" eats this, you're a "real idiot."]


Sorry, I had to disappear for a while. I caught a stomach parasite two weeks ago and have been slowly trying to regain my strength. All is well now, but for about a week, my toilet and I became close friends.


Anyway, on to the point of this post. I am constantly being ridiculed at work for how healthy I eat. Does it hurt my feeling? Not at all. In fact, I take it as a compliment and take pride in my healthy food selections. However, being out sick for a week added fuel to the fire for all the "health experts" at my station. Apparently, I got the parasite from "all that healthy shit you eat..." and the well educated remedy was that I need to start eating "real food," I'm sorry I mean "real MAN food." Well if "real MAN food" is three square meals a day of fried pork chops, green beans with bacon, butter w/ a side of mashed potatoes, washed down w/ Kool-Aid w/ extra sugar added ( for the diabetics), and topped off a generous portion of Bluebell; you can call me Mary. I could really give a fuck.

I didn't have the heart to tell the peons that I had eaten off of my regular routine a few days before and that was likely the cause of my illness. My sister had ordered fajitas for my nephews B-day the weekend before. I felt that I was justified to cheat a little to celebrate the little dude's day. My stomach saw no justice in it a few days later.

In Part 2, I will show you what I consider to be real man food show you how I save money and my life buy shopping for this real man food.

WOD for 060709

FHA DBL KETTLEBELL COMPLEX 1

1. RENEGADE ROW X 5/5
2. DBL SWING X 10
3. ALT. CLEANS X 5/5
4. SEE SAW PRESS X 5/5
5. THRUSTERS X 5

WEIGHT: Two 16kg Kettbells

GOAL: To get through 5 rounds as fast as possible.

ACTIVE RECOVERY: 1 3/4" Fires Hose Undulations for 30sec

TIME TO COMPLETE: 23min.

CORE WORK: 2 Rounds Of:

1. Get Up Sit Up w/ 45lb Bar X 8
2. Superman Plank X Failure
3. Ab Wheel Roll Outs X 10

PULL UPS: 6,5,4,4,3

WOD: Pull Up The Resolution To Do Your Get Ups

That title will make sense after you read this.

I missed a few WOD posts so here we go.

060309: Resolution 2 Adv. ( I was really tired from the previous day so I didn't have enough gas to get through all 5 rounds in 30min, so I had to stop at 3. ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. You won't make any gains, especially in strength, if you push yourself past your limit.)

A) KB C&P Ladders w/ 27kg: 3(1,2,3,4,5)

B) Pull Ups: 5,4,3

C) Dead Lift:

1. 255 x 5
2. 260 x 4
3. 265 x 3

060409: TGU Practice: 5 min round of 32kg alt. TGUs

• This was an A.R. day. I didn't want to push the the envelope today. I am feeling the need to unload after training pretty heavy for the past 6 weeks. I think I got three on each side.
• I took a 25 min rest and put Lisa through a workout, then I wanted to see how long it wold take me to complete 100 snatches w/ the 24kg. I did 20 on each side and I could tell that it wasn't going to happen.
• I'll perform better when I am fresh.

060509: Fighter Pull Up Plan By Pavel

• I need to increase my pull up strength. Is there any way better to do it besides the Pavel way? I don't think so.
• This is going to be a 30 day program w/ the goal of increasing my #'s. My rep max doing the strict pull up, as Pavel describes in the article, was 6.
• So I started on Day 7 with:
• 6,5,4,3,2,1
• I took enough rest to complete each rep w/ perfect form. I didn't want to wear myself out.

Today, I will be on a 24hr fast, and I am going to write up a Dbl KB Complex to do later in the day. More on that soon....

Rise of The Phoenix

I need to be reborn. It is time to set my past aflame like the plumage of the Phoenix as it's 1,000 year life cycle comes to an end in flames, to ashes, and rekindled anew.

I need to reevaluate my goals in regards to strength training, conditioning, and my career as a personal trainer.

I'm not ashamed to say that I had a "Why the hell am I doing this" moment today. I've been researching different ways of strength training, conditioning, and overall health for a while now.

While researching these different mode and methods, I realized that the traditional ways of working out were not for me. I desired something that was simple, yet it could replace a whole gym membership in one shot. Enter the kettlebell. (no pun intended...OK pun intended) The kettlebell is more than just a cannonball w/ a handle on it. It is a totally body strength and conditioning tool that will fit in the palm of your hand. Now, I have come to realize that it is so much more. The kettlebell is an art form. The kettlebell is a way of life. The kettlebell can save lives.

Are kettlebells the only solution to strength training, conditioning, and overall health? That depends on you, how committed you are to your goals, and how far you are willing to go to reach those goals. So yes it can be. For me, adding Olympic lifts, body weighted exercise, and non traditional modes like sandbags, tires, and sledgehammers made it all the more fun.

What I recently realized, is that I haven't devoted enough time to the both simple and complex kettlebell. Simple in it's design yet complex in it's implementations. I am a practitioner, an enthusiast, but I am , by no means, a master. I want to be a master.

I was recently inspired by a video I have saved on my YouTube subscriptions by Jordan Vezina RKC. If you need help on kettlebell training, watch his videos. Jordan has an amazing gift for breaking the movements down. I think he could teach my mastiff to do a Turkish Get Up if he wanted to.

"DO YOUR SWINGS AND YOUR GET UPS"

After watching this video, for a second time, I realized that I was not on a pathway to the "Elite."
I was going through the motions with no purpose other than improving my strength and conditioning for my career as a fire fighter.

Like the feathers of the Phoenix, my old workout were embedded in my arms, weighing me down, and keeping me anchored to the ground. Not anymore. Come Monday of next week I, the Phoenix, will rise from the ashes and embark on a quest to become an RKC.